Fox News host John Gibson bemoaned the fact that U.S. relief -- getting water, food and shelter to millions of destitute people -- might be part of an insurance scam to simply pay for the cost of rebuilding a resort community. "This is the travel industry, major big hotel companies," he said last week. "How is it that United States taxpayers are going to be convinced you have to build hotels in Phuket?" He worried aloud that "Thailand, Indonesia, India, the countries that got hit [will] say, 'We need dough and we need buckets of it to fix all this so Swedes can go on vacation in Phuket again.'" (from salon.com)I spoke to Bear once, about being cynical, and he said something about how he was just disappointed in people sometimes. I think cynicism can be so tiresome and not very constructive and really not much fun at all, but i do see his point.
My argument to him, however, was that you just have to lower your expectations of people. We just don't have as much control of our minds, attitudes, or behaviours as we think we do. There's also no good blaming "the system" for how it makes people think or behave because a system is usually the work of a good many people doing their own thing in their own way, over lengths of time, and who in that is to blame?
Also, i'm beginning to subscribe to the "there are two kinds of people in the world" argument, whereby one kind believes that its a dog eat dog zero-sum reality and if you don't take care of yourself no one will. The other sort believes otherwise, that human beings are altruistic and good at heart and that you don't need to step on others to get ahead. Its all very Dr Phil, i know, but i like it anyway. It explains some people. In any case, if those two kinds of people do actually represent the human population in some discrete way, then they're both wrong. And one of them is bound to be disappointed till they realise it.
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4 comments:
'We just don't have as much control of our minds, attitudes, or behaviours as we think we do.'
I think we do have control over our own minds, attitudes, and behaviours. We just don't have control over others'.
Aiya, I miss you....
Sky's
Is not cynicism the ultimate extreme of lowering your expectations of people?
If "we just don't have as much control of our minds, attitudes, or behaviours as we think we do" then why not? Is it due to some hard limitation of our beings, or through laziness, lack of education or arrested emotional development? I would say it's mostly the latter three, after all the human race has been pretty successful up to this point largely thanks to our adaptability. At least some of us seem capable of overcoming default animal behaviour when confronted with unfamiliar or dangerous situations. Isn't it one of the advantages of consciousness that it can be used to analyse a situation (or even one's own reaction to that situation) and react accordingly? For example, finding yourself in close proximity to a bear (a real one):
Animal reaction: Run like hell!
Conscious reaction: Stand still, make yourself look tall and identify yourself as a human by talking to it (bears have a chase instinct, if you run they'll automatically chase you).
This to me is a good example of where you need an understanding of both others' behaviour as well as you own natural reactions to achieve a favourable outcome (not getting eaten). I try to avoid quotes, but:
"To know others is wisdom, to know oneself is enlightenment." - Lao-tzu*
Sadly, sometimes it seems we still live in times where wisdom is scarce and enlightenment almost non-existent.
Disclaimer: I have never studied psychology.
*There are a number of versions of this, depending on the translation, but you get the idea. There's also this one and this one for example.
Bear, i think cynicism is borne out of disappointment, which results from unrealistically high expectations. Cynicism itself, however, is often (i think) expressed as you said, as the extreme of lowered expectations, and perhaps lower than necessary. I think realistic expectations are the key here.
Sky: we don't have control of others, but can still manipulate them! heheheh. don't tell me you've forgotten all those experiments we did? heheheh. and yar I miss you too. Blarh!
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