So. When does one become a woman and not a girl, or is it like if you have to ask then you're probably neither or both or something like that? Anyway, I don't know, so i asked Bear. I ask Bear a great many things. If i ask him about mechanical thingymabobs, he is usually quick to supply a carefully worded explanation, because he knows everything about mechanical things, being an engineer by profession and passion, but when asked about things like
feelings, or hypothetical moral conundrums (what if i fell into a vegetative state, would you still love me? how about if i grew a penis by accident?).. or other sorts of fuzzy issues, you can see the solid steel barrier crashing down between his mind and the rest of his face, the kind with large red letters flashing
DANGER DANGER, and Bear immediately shifts into silent defense mode.
So it was when I asked him, do you think I'm a girl or a woman?
To which, maybe because he really thought so and also because it was safe, he said sometimes you're one, sometimes the other.
And then of course the follow up question is when am I a girl and when a woman?
And Bear said something like: when you're making up silly songs, or doing the spin cycle dance, or asking me random difficult questions to amuse yourself, you're being a girl...
And a woman? I asked eagerly, because I had no idea.
Well, when you're doing your research, or working with children, or.. tutoring, I suppose you're being a woman.
Which is a fair enough answer I guess... because lately, what with being halfway through 25 and having to be serious about being financially independent and tutoring adults more than twice my age and having finally to address my research seriously, it just seemed like i've been acting like an adult - the key word here being acting.
And behind the scenes, sensible outfits and carefully worded conversations, the bit of me that watches all this looks on in marvel and disbelief and hopes that I don't give myself away.
Oh. and then i asked Bear, so which do you like more? the girl or the woman?
Bear: Argh! You know I can't answer that without getting into trouble!
heheheheheh.