Caffeinated ranunculus

So, it's midnight and I really should be in bed because it is a school night but I went out with some other postgrads, an Italian girl and an Austrian girl and a lovely newly wed couple, she was from Lebanon and he was from Jordan and they brought us to this totally kick ass Lebanese restaurant, where you had to book and order the food ahead of time and all the customers were gathered to break their fast and then we ate so much food on disproportionately small plates and then went to an Arabic cafe where the waiters wore red fezes and embroidered waistcoats and we drank dark Lebanese coffee spiced with cardamom and had argily! Apparently it is also called hubly bubly, which is a ridiculous name for it. Can you believe I've never tried it? Yes, I am about ten years behind. It's not for want of opportunity, I've just never really felt like it. It smelt nice, but did kind of burn my throat and really, asthma sucks enough without encouragement. Hmm. And then I kept feeling like I was breathing out smoke for a while after that. Wieeeeerd.

And then we went to a popular bakery and I bought 1 kilogram of baklava! Yah! Baklava for weeks!

I sometimes forget that coffee makes me stay awake. Perhaps I thought maybe it wouldn't, because it was Lebanese (I know, that makes no sense), but whatever. It's kinda like with the potato chips. After awhile I forget again that they taste really bad and make me feel ill.

I think sometimes maybe I am a bad wife. I don't iron his shirts, I don't particularly fuss over him, I mean I could, and I have in the past, but really he is a grown man and I can really do without becoming a nagging wife. Still, I decide on a whim to go out without him, without planning for his dinner... I let him go to bed alone while I stay up and mooch about online. I ask him to wake me up early, despite knowing that this is a most terrible and difficult undertaking, I... um. I suppose I'm not really even trying to be a good wife.

But then we make our own marriages don't we? It's not like there's some sort of predetermined duty list that has to be followed. Is there? Anymore? I think the beauty of our relationship/marriage thing is that we make it up as we go along. It's kind of like building a wall... no, a house, where every bit of the structure is newly, slowly placed, and it's all sort of good and strong, but is always, constantly, tested, pushed against, dinged, patched up, etc. Maybe the key thing is that we're doing it together. And we both want to do it, and we both want to live in it. It's like a shelter from the rest of the world.

I don't know. But he's crazy hot and I love him.